This is the last in a series, that completes the body of work called WomanKind, on reclaiming the feminine.
It’s a poem about the challenges and times of overwhelm, of being a woman – mother, wife, lover, friend, daughter. It is about what perimenopause and menopause ask of us – to pause and to become present for ourselves. When we deepen our connection with ourselves, with the Divine, with our friends, families and partners, we are unmasked and seen for the essence of who we are. And we can begin to heal.
Why wait?
Chest rises and falls.
Shall I stay or shall I go?
To where I can breathe again.
Not enough air in here for all of us.They stand on my chest to reach the highest fruit.
I’m swallowed up into the earth.
Greedy gulping breaths so what’s left,
is no space on my side of the bed.Is this all, because I was made for so much more
life.Light sucked out of me, a tiny flicker left.
Flicker calls “Go. Grow. Be you. Why wait?”Until you’re a mote of floating dust?
Oh I hear you! It’s safe and certain here.
My mask hides my tired, dull eyes.
Defeat, fatigue, indefatigable.What are you afraid of?
Stopping, starting again……oh the effort.
Losing everything when there is
no thing to lose.Afraid my heart will break open,
Like a stuffed suitcase on a baggage carousel.
Everyone can see my dirty knickers,
shame!Is this all, because I was made for so much more
love.Flickers and catches alight.
And then it happens.
I am seen, wholly seen.
I am heard, when before there were no words.
I listen with every cell of my body,
And the words lift me up like a prayer.But wait, it’s dangerous and terrible being deeply seen.
I can never unsee.
I can never unhear.
I can never unknow.
Who I am.
Image credit: The talented Miss Katrina Julienne